Most testimonies that I have heard are not told with regretful feelings though, but with thankfulness. They are thankful for their experiences because these experiences led them to God. People who really never knew who God was until they became desperate for a change. I cannot speak for people with these great testimonies, but everyone that I have met and are willing to share their testimony has been able to impact others and inspire and give hope to those that needed to hear their testimony. I admire these people who have completely changed their lives and have vowed to live for God with their whole heart and to never allow their own children to go through what they did.
Now I am sure that if you personally know me, you may be wondering where I am going with this right? After all, the title of my post would be conflicting because I have been told that I don`t really know how hard life really is. After all, I`ve never been through such heartaches, I have never suffered regret, never been on drugs, or have never been a part of illicit behavior and premarital sex. How do I have a testimony if I have been raised as a spoiled brat?
I have actually learned to embrace this term because yes, growing up I was spoiled. I was spoiled with Gods word being drilled into me. My virtue was protected by my elders and my parents with harsh rules and boundaries. I went through grade school and high school dressing modest like a lady while everyone else flaunted their goods. I was lectured when I stopped at a friends house just to say hi and chat outside with her for a few minutes because her father was outside drinking with his friends. I didn`t understand, but I did understand that my protection was for Gods glory and to keep me from becoming a victim to sin. I dated. Every date consisted of a third wheel who had to be approved by my pastor and parent. It was annoying, but it was my protection.
I had a great fear. This fear was not the kind that people speak of. It was a fear of reverence to God and my elders. I feared to fail God and I feared to make the wrong choice that would lead me down a path full of regret. This Godly fear forced me to make the right choices in life. It has caused me to obey my pastor and follow Gods word. It is not a fear of bondage, but a fear of falling into bondage. As a teenager I feared that I would marry the wrong guy, go after the wrong career and make a wrong choice. But I was always assured that If I followed Gods word with all of my heart, if I obeyed his commandments, then my life would fall into place. All things would work out for my good.
I know what I might consider a testimony sounds pretty lame. There are no gory details to draw an audience into. Nothing really for an imaginative capitation, but my testimony is a Testimony! I`m not bragging about being spoiled. About being blessed, marrying the right man that God reserved for me, having a testimony with no regret. I am bragging of Gods Grace and Mercy. You see, it is the same Grace and Mercy that the ex-drug addict needed to find God. It is the same Grace and Mercy that the woman who is the exact same age as me is a single mother recovering from abuse and depression because of Gods Grace and Mercy.
I am not exempt of life`s heartaches. I lost my dad when I was a teenager. He didn`t get to walk me down the isle on my wedding day and he never got to meet his grandchildren. I have had the pain of sorrow just like everyone else has. I have had to go through moments of desperation for one of my sons lives, just like so many have. I have had to fight many spiritual battles for my own soul, my husbands soul and for my children's soul. But God and his tender Grace and Mercy has always come to my rescue. I can`t say that I will always have what I want because if it were up to me, my daddy would still be here spoiling his grand babies. I can`t say that friends have not forsaken me, because some have because I refused to let them push me over and pull me in. I can`t say I have everything I want because I would have a bank full of money and my kids would have a roller coaster in the back yard and I would buy my pastor a beautiful home.
All I am saying is, that I have a testimony too. It`s just different, and I know others have the same testimony with a different flare.
God is worth being faithful to. I am forever indebted to him for keeping me from this ugly world around me. I am thankful for my helicopter parents and pastor who protected me. The faithfulness that I have given to God, has been returned to me from him more than imagined. This legacy that I carry WILL BE given to my children.
Deuteronomy 7:9 (ESV)
9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations,
